


Epistemology

by faithinthepoor



Series: Desperate Housewives [36]
Category: Desperate Housewives
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-16
Updated: 2014-07-16
Packaged: 2018-02-09 01:23:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1963686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faithinthepoor/pseuds/faithinthepoor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during Listen to the Rain on the Roof</p>
            </blockquote>





	Epistemology

**Author's Note:**

> Follows [Unseemly](http://archiveofourown.org/works/668467), [The Theory of Everything](http://archiveofourown.org/users/faithinthepoor), [Here There Be Dragons](http://archiveofourown.org/works/673221), [Somnambulist](http://archiveofourown.org/works/673229), [Wishin’ and Hopin’](http://archiveofourown.org/works/673233), [Nosology](http://archiveofourown.org/works/673238), [Boundary Violations](http://archiveofourown.org/works/673240), [Fractals](http://archiveofourown.org/works/673250), [Windmill Tilting](http://archiveofourown.org/works/673255), [Ambitendency](http://archiveofourown.org/works/673262), [Heisenberg Territory](http://archiveofourown.org/works/673272), [The Illusions of Prisms](http://archiveofourown.org/works/673700), [Keratitis Sicca](http://archiveofourown.org/works/682311), [Schrödinger’s Realm](http://archiveofourown.org/works/682327), [Chiaroscuro](http://archiveofourown.org/works/682358), [Altered Trajectories](http://archiveofourown.org/works/682370), [Elegiacs](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1952136), [Tachyphylaxis](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1952244), [Verismo](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1953516), [Forced Perspective](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1953594), [Lex Talionis](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1953624), [Repetition Compulsion](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1953663), [Cardioid Geometry](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1953693), [Mereology](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1959777), [Battlelines](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1960131), [Enteropathy](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1960167), [Abnegation](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1960179), [Lichtenberg Figures](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1960806), [Paradoxes](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1960851), [Plastic Deformation](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1963329), [Hawthorne and Rosenthal Dilemmas](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1963419), [Egodystonic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/196345), [Regional Anaesthesia](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1963512), [Antinomy](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1963539) and [Theophobia](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1963584)

Aristotle, Plato, Socrates, Confucius, Kant, Gandhi – all men who had important things to say about the world but somehow they didn’t produce ideologies that she identifies with, it would seem that the philosophy that most resonates with her was penned by a pop singer. She doesn’t know if she should be embarrassed by that fact, she supposes that if anyone ever asked she could just say the name, fail to mention the spelling, and allow people to draw their own conclusions but then she’s not sure if it’s better for people to think she is talking about a Russian Revolutionary than it is a Beatle. It is clear to her that John was right though and that ‘Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans’ because she certainly didn’t plan what is currently happening in her world.

She’s not a control freak and she’s not foolish enough to believe that fate can be cajoled or reigned in. Destiny is not of her making, she knows that with certainty because this is not the way she planned for her life to fall apart. These are issues that she has long grappled with and she thought she had come to accept things but it’s hard for her to deal with the fact that the problem continues. She has understand for some time that she can’t have the life that she imagined and more recently she has come to understand that once your life has changed, you can’t reclaim past glories. Somehow she still thought that she should have more of a say over the acute issues in her life but the last six months have taught her that even the short term is beyond her control.

In some ways the end point is the same, her decisions would have continued to undermine the stability of her marriage, but if things were as she wanted them to be the cause of the instability would have been her relationship with Bree and not the arrival of Tom’s incredibly ill-conceived one night stand. Six months ago she had left her husband. Six months ago she thought her greatest fear would be realised by losing Bree to a bullet. Six months ago she had an image for the future – a chaotic and morally ambiguous future but a future non-the-less - now she struggles to keep her family together not because of her indiscretion but because of Tom’s. 

Kayla isn’t a terrible kid, as far as bastard offspring go she’s probably the pick of the litter, but most of the time Lynette isn’t sure that she wants her own children let alone to be saddled with a fifth. It might be easier to deal with if Kayla didn’t come with a giant string attached and she didn’t have to constantly deal with Nora. Over the years Lynette has turned hating into an art-form and she is now rather pleased that she has decided to ally herself with Karen McCluskey as this has left things wide open for Nora to take centre stage as the object she most despises. It doesn’t help that Tom panders to Nora’s every little whim, that she simpers and pouts and he rolls over like a puppy. She doesn’t understand why Tom is so afraid of Nora, she recognises that he is worried about losing the relationship with the fruit of his far too fertile loins but she doesn’t see why he lets Nora have all the power. Nora moved herself to the neighbourhood, she put herself in a position of weakness and yet Tom still seems to think she holds all the cards. Lynette is probably most irritated by the fact that Tom doesn’t seem to try outsmarting Nora, the bimbo’s allocation of tissue was clearly heavily allotted to her breasts, leaving her brain wanting, and yet he seems to treat her as someone of at least average intelligence.

Finding herself taking a back seat to her husband’s illegitimate child and the whore of a mother isn’t where she pictured being at this point in her life but at least it keeps her busy. Most of the time her anger at Nora and her disappointment in Tom can help distract her from the fact that she has lost Bree. It’s not as though their relationship didn’t always teeter on the brink of disaster, in fact it was declared off almost as often as it was on but at least it was always passionate. In the past when they had attempted to terminate things it was usually a decision made in anger or haste and in a way that was more acceptable than what has happened. There was no conversation, no declaration, no decree, Bree just gradually pushed her aside whilst claiming to still love her and want to be with her. It’s hard to stand your grand when you’re being told that nothing is wrong and that there is nothing to fight about and eventually things atrophied and died. She has no idea how to fix it and so she focuses on the home front, on her battle with Nora and her need to be able to keep Tom, and tries to ignore that fact that Bree is with Orson.

Bree doesn’t make things easy, she flaunts her relationship with the dentist as though it is something to be extremely proud of, as though she needs to make amends for past mistakes. As one of those mistakes Lynette can’t help but be hurt but she does try not to let it show, tries to preserve what she can of her dignity. At times the mask slips and her feelings well to the surface but she doesn’t think people realise the true source of her discomfort. She hopes that people don’t notice that she is more flippant with Bree than she used to be and she is fairly sure that Gabrielle and Susan were too caught up in their own responses to Bree’s announcement that she was engaged to pay attention to anything that she said. In fact she could nearly kiss Gabby for taking the focus off her but that would complicate her life more than it already is and she’s honestly doesn’t know if she feels better or worse for having learnt that Bree hasn’t slept with Orson. She is sure that Bree knows that her statement about Bree moving fast was about them, just as she is sure that Bree mentioning that in the past she has given herself away too freely was about her rather than about Rex or George. Hearing that Bree thinks of their relationship as a mistake hurts so much more than she wants it to, at this rate she is never going to get over Bree.

Every time she thinks that things are back in order the universe yanks the rug out from underneath her, she had briefly been feeling on top of the world because Tom had told her that she scares the hell out of him and would have spent some time analysing what that said about her if she didn’t have to go and pretend that she was happy for her friend and that this engagement party wasn’t breaking her heart. It is killing her that she can’t automatically hate Orson and that Bree looks so happy with him. It is also killing her that Bree looks spectacular in her tight dress, awash with the warm glow of new love. 

The party was more eventful then she was anticipating and she has added the crazy woman who accused Orson of being a murderer to the list of women that she wants to kiss causing her to briefly wonder if she should be bothered by the length of that list. Bree brushes the accusation away in typical Bree fashion, as though aspersions can’t thrive in the light of her purity, and the evening continues as planned. 

She is in the kitchen looking for something stronger than the champagne that she is drinking when Bree enters. Lynette doesn’t bother to look at Bree but decides that she can’t ignore her presence, “I don’t suppose you have any cyanide here?”

“I’m sorry, I’m sure this is difficult for you.”

“Don’t flatter yourself, I’ve got enough problems to think about without adding you and your new fiancé to the list.”

“Don’t be like that.”

“How do you want me to be?”

Bree seems to falter, “I don’t know.”

“I’m not going to play the jealousy card for you, as far as I am concerned, you are welcome to the new George.”

“Orson is not like George.”

“The murder accusation suggests otherwise, I hope the two of you are very happy together.”

“I won’t have you say things like that about him, I care for him.”

“You care for him?” she hisses. “Big fucking deal, what do you want me to do, throw him a parade? Or should I just tell him that what you claim to feel doesn’t matter, can’t be trusted?”

“I never lie about my feelings.”

“Don’t bullshit me Bree, you are talking to someone that you used to claim to love, I know better than anyone how little your alleged feelings mean.”

“Keep your voice down.”

Her laugh is bitter and angry, “God forbid that your new victim learns how fickle your feelings are.”

“This is meant to be a celebration, I don’t want to argue.”

“Then you shouldn’t have invited me.”

“I wanted you here, you’re important to me.”

“Those times are long gone.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“I’m at your engagement party Bree, I think that’s a pretty good indication of where I rank in your life. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go and mingle with people I don’t hate.”

She had been attempting to leave but Bree’s words stop her in her tracks, “I think Orson gave me my first orgasm.”

Her grasp tightens on the glass she was holding and she hears a distant crunching sound but she feels nothing. “That’s nice for you.”

“Baby,” Bree utters with genuine concern.

“I’m not your baby anymore,” she summons up all the ire she possesses but that doesn’t stop Bree crossing the room to take her hand. It takes her a while to realise that the broken shard of glass is imbedded in her palm and a little longer to understand that the crimson liquid spilling to the floor is her blood. There is a brief thought that her hand should hurt followed by a lancing pain that buckles her knees and would have sent her straight to the floor if Bree hadn’t have caught her.

She needs to be held up but she wishes that it was anyone but Bree who was supporting her body weight as they make their way upstairs. Their departure is effectively covered by her blood loss and Bree’s reassurance that she has the situation well in hand. The next thing she knows she is lying on Bree’s bed creating stains that are likely to be indelible on fresh white towel that has been handed to her and finding persevere satisfaction in the mess that she is making.

Bree returns to the room wearing gloves and removes the glass with brutal efficiency. Lynette’s response is not her finest moment, “Mother fucker, I so hate you.” Despite the intensity of the sentiment she manages not to yell.

“It’s out now,” Bree replies seemingly unperturbed.

“Oh the pain will go away, that’s not the reason that I hate you.”

“You’re upset that I told you about the thing with Orson?”

“No, no I’m positively delighted to learn that he is very gifted at pleasuring you.”

“I didn’t tell you to make you jealous.”

“I don’t understand why you told me at all.”

“I needed to talk to someone.”

“And that someone had to be me?”

“Who else was I going to tell?”

“Oh I don’t know, someone that wouldn’t have been hurt by the information.”

“You’re hurt?” Bree looks puzzled.

“How did you think I’d feel?”

“I didn’t realise that your ego was so all encompassing that you would make this all about you.”

“I didn’t intend to and I wish I didn’t care. I hate that I hate you.”

“I don’t want you to hate me,” Bree removes the towel and replaces it with a fresh one tying it firmly to stem the flow of blood.

“Neither do I, I don’t want to feel anything for you.”

Bree’s removes her gloves and her hands move to Lynette’s hair, “Don’t say that.”

“You’re the one who pushed me away.”

“I still care about you.”

“Then leave me alone.”

“I thought my leaving you alone was what you were unhappy about.”

“It possibly was but right now I am a little annoyed that you have chosen your engagement party as the time to let me know about my inadequacies in the sex department.”

Bree strokes her thumb across Lynette’s cheek forcing her to turn her head away, “I didn’t mean to make you feel inadequate.”

“How exactly did you think learning that I didn’t satisfy you was going to make me feel?”

“This isn’t a competition.”

“And yet I feel like I’m being judged.”

“You’re not, what we did together was nice.”

“I’ll add that to my resume, Lynette Scarvo, sex with me won’t rock your world but at least it won’t be unpleasant.”

“We never had sex.”

“I’ll think you’ll find that we did.”

“You might have been having sex, I was making love.”

“Maybe you should have tried sex, maybe then I could have given you an orgasm.”

“That’s not everything.”

“And yet now that you had one you feel the need to make an announcement about it.”

“I don’t think you understand what I was trying to say.”

“I understand that I thought we were amazing together and that apparently I was wrong.”

“You’re not wrong.”

“I’m just not as amazing as Orson.”

“I don’t know what happened, I let him do things to me that I…well..”

“You let him do things that Republicans don’t do?” Bree nods. “I thought you only did that with me,” she has enough problems in her life, she shouldn’t be sitting here letting Bree mess with her head like this.

“I did, it all happened so quickly.”

“I would normally say that quickly isn’t a plus but obviously in his case it is.”

“It wasn’t like that.”

“I really can not hear what it was like.”

“I thought about you.”

“I can’t hear that either,” she bites her lip and tells herself that she will not cry.

“I still want you,” lips kiss their way down her neck, “I miss you.”

She pushes Bree back, “Then why are you marrying him? Is it because I can’t bring the orgasms?”

“Orson and I are well suited.”

“You make it sound so clinical.”

“What should I do, spend the rest of my life hoping that one day you will leave your husband?”

“I did leave him.”

“I don’t like to think about that. I don’t want to destroy your family. Orson is much less complicated, he’s better for me.”

“You love him?”

“I care for him.”

“So you don’t love him?”

“How can I?”

“I thought you were compatible.”

“We are but he’s not Rex.”

“Oh.”

“And he’s not you.” She really didn’t mean to kiss Bree, didn’t mean to take a step backwards and yet here she is lying underneath Bree and kissing her like she will die if she doesn’t. “You look so beautiful tonight.”

“You should know what you are missing,” she replies between kisses.

“I am always aware of that baby.” She lets Bree get away with the word this time after all she’s not exactly in a position to protest right now.

“We should go back down, people are going to be looking for us.”

“Absolutely,” Bree states and then contradicts herself by pushing the skirt of Lynette’s dress up around her waist.

“What are you doing?”

Bree slithers down her body, “Something that Republican’s definitely don’t do.”

“You mean?” Bree lifts her head to meet Lynette’s eyes and nods solemnly. “I thought you couldn’t do that.”

“So did I.”

“Then why?”

“Because despite what you think, I love you very much,” and just like Lynette ignores the fact that there is a party full of people downstairs and surrenders to the way she feels when she is alone with Bree, letting the strings of her life once again tighten into a complicated ball. As she allows Bree to remove her underwear she has to acknowledge that she has learnt nothing at all in the last six months and that maybe she never will.


End file.
